Counseling for the Lovesick
by WingedTdg
Summary: Sasuke likes Sakura and goes to Ino for help. Neji likes Sakura and goes to Tenten for help. The girls make a bet to see who can set their 'patient' up with Sakura first. [NejiSakuSasu] I don't exactly like this fic... [on hold]


**Disclaimer-** This story is for entertainment purposes only.

**Author's Note- **Everyone in this story is about 18, aside from Neji, Tenten, and Lee, who are all 19. I'm giving credit to LuvinAniManga whose story **The Little Seductress** gave inspiration to this fic.

* * *

**Counseling for the Lovesick**

**-**

**One**

"So," a girl with two mahogany buns smirked, "How long has this been going on?"

"A while now," beside her sat a handsome youth with captivating ivory eyes.

"I need to know specifics, Neji," Tenten eyed him.

The Hyuuga boy cast an unsure glance at his teammate before replying, "…About a year now."

"A year!" Tenten's eyes widened, "You've been keeping this locked up inside of you for a _year_?" Neji nodded. "Wow…" Tenten raised her hands up and started clapping slowly, "I'll give you kudos for lasting that long. If it were me I would have gone crazy long ago." Neji shot her a get-on-with-it look. Tenten scoffed, "Alright, alright, I get the point. Anyways, you've had a crush on Sakura Haruno for a year now, and just now you're coming to someone for help?"

He nodded, "I thought it would pass."

"And you were wrong," Tenten chided, "Now you know never to defy the almighty cupid and his arrow."

Not too long ago, Neji had come up to Tenten and asked for her assistance. At first she was taken aback and puzzled. The Hyuuga Neji _never_ asked/needed help. Never. So imagine the dumbfounded look on the weapon mistress's face when he had told her it was about a girl- And Sakura Haruno, nonetheless. Seeing as how desperate the Hyuuga looked, Tenten agreed to become his "love counselor".

Neji snorted, "Well, what am I going to do?"

"Hm," the weapons mistress tapped her chin, "What do you know about her?"

"…"

"Neji?"

"…"

"…Let me guess: nothing."

Neji nodded.

Tenten fought back an urge to groan and slap her palm against her forehead, "You had a crush on her for a year and you didn't even bother to learn more about her? Did you even try to seek her out aside from your appointments with her in the hospital?"

"No."

"Idiot," Tenten pulled out a kunai and started polishing it, "Well I guess we'll just have to start from scratch then." She thought for a moment. "For starters her favorite food is umeboshi- I remember because she always ordered a side dish of it when we ate at Ichiraku." He took note of that. "And… well, she doesn't like being called pinky. And…umm…" Tenten scratched her head. That was about all she knew about Haruno Sakura.

Neji fumbled with his fingers and a light shade of pink tinted his cheeks, "…What if I want to ask her out?"

Tenten grinned, "Now we're getting somewhere."

* * *

"AHAHAHA!" a certain blonde girl burst out in a fit of giggles, doubling over and clutching her stomach in pain, "Oh my god! I can't believe this! HAHAHA!" she laughed harder and threw her head back, the laugh now resembling some sort of evil cackle.

Not too far from her was another figure, who was scowling at the blonde as she howled. His dark ebony eyes bore into the girl as if to say "Stop laughing or I'll rip your head off." Actually, that thought didn't sound half-bad as of currently. Ino noticed his murderous glare and winded her laugh down to a snicker. She then sauntered over to the figure, who was none other than the infamous Sasuke Uchiha.

"You like forehead-girl," Ino teased, "You like forehead-girl. Ha! This is rich."

"So what?" Sasuke scowled.

"I guess it's just the irony of it that makes it funny," Ino giggled, "I mean right when she gives up on you, you realize you want her back."

"…Are you going to help or just make fun of me?"

"Okay, okay," the girl still held a bit of mirth in her voice, "Just take a seat." The two were at the apartment Ino shared with Shikamaru, since the two had gotten engaged some months ago. Yes, Ino Yamanaka and Nara Shikamaru were engaged. About an hour ago, Sasuke came in search of Ino and asked for her help, concerning a very complicated and confusing topic. At first Ino was a bit apprehensive. If this topic was too tough for the Sasuke Uchiha to handle, then it must be way too much for Ino to take on. Imagine her surprise when she found out what it really was.

Sakura.

Yup, Konoha's favorite medic nin: Sakura Haruno. Feeling better about the topic, Ino gladly agreed to assist Sasuke in his courting of the pink haired jounin.

"You know," Ino began, "You can always give her flowers, and I know the perfect place to get them! The Yamanaka flower shop has the best in town and I can-"

"Ino," Sasuke growled, "I didn't come here for you to advertise."

"Oh, right," she smirked, "You came here for a counseling session."

Sasuke blushed slightly.

"Well," Ino fingered a stray lock of hair, "What do you need help with?"

"…Can you tell me about her?"

"WHAT?" Ino stood up and gawked, "You're her teammate! You spend almost every day of the weak with her; you should at least have some sort of clue as to what she likes."

"…"

"Ugh," she slapped her forehead, "This is hopeless."

"…"

Ino's eyebrow twitched.

Sasuke scratched the back of his neck, "…What about asking her to dinner?"

The Yamanaka girl's face lit up, "Now _that's_ a good idea."

* * *

"No, no, no!" Tenten scolded and stood up from her seat, "You need to smile! You think Sakura's going to like a guy who scowls every freaking moment?"

"She fell for the Uchiha," Neji added with a bit of distaste in his mouth.

"But she got over him," Tenten reminded, "Now smile."

Neji scowled at her. There was no way in hell that he was just about to do what she told him. The features on his face remained as stony as ever and his jaw was set. Tenten frowned. "I said smile."

"No."

Growling, Tenten took two fingers and lifted the corners of his mouth. Satisfied, she stepped back to admire her handy work. The sight that greeted her was a disturbing one. The upper half of Neji's face was still scowling at her, eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed, while the lower half of him was twisted up in a weird smile. He reminded her of a constipated Cheshire cat…

"AH!" Tenten screamed and hurriedly pushed the corners of his mouth back down. "Never mind. Don't smile."

Neji's frown deepened. He couldn't even smile right. Ugh, at this rate he'd never win Sakura over. "Anything else?"

"Hmm…" a mischievous glint suddenly gleamed in Tenten's eyes as she produced a pair of scissors and eyed his long, coffee tresses.

He go the message, "Oh no. Tenten, you are not touching the hair, do you hear me? Tenten, back off. Tenten!"

A few moments later and the weapons mistress was chasing her teammate around the small apartment, him jumping over furniture as if his life depended on it. Tenten cackled and ran after him, waving the scissors threateningly at his signature coffee locks.

"What do you think you're doing, woman?" Neji yelled.

"Giving you a makeover!" she grinned.

Little did they know that Sasuke was going through the same torture.

* * *

"Why won't your hair stay down!" Ino yelled as she grabbed another glob of hair gel and smothered it all over his head. Sasuke winced when he felt the cold gelatin like substance sink into his scalp and Ino pounding his hair at the same time. She had insisted that he have a makeover, so that Sakura would "fall in love all over again". Starting with his hair.

Ino struggled with the sharp upturn he had in the back of his head- the part that looked like a chicken's butt. So far she had used about two and a half jars of Shikamaru's beloved hair gel and the wretched thing still wouldn't go down! Ino growled and dumped the rest of the jar on Sasuke's head, causing the Uchiha to wince. Finally, it submitted and went down.

"There," Ino panted, "Much better!" She quickly grabbed a towel and wiped off the excess gelatin. She stepped back and admired her handiwork. (A/N: If you've ever seen the picture of team seven in formal wear, as in Sakura in a kimono and Naruto with the Kabuki paint on his face, then Sasuke's hair is just like it is in that picture.)

"Well, I think that's enough for today," Ino smiled. She quickly eyed his clothing , "Hm… Don't you have any other clothes?" Even after all these years, Sasuke continued to wear his usual attire of tan shorts and dark blue, high collared shirt.

"No."

Ino frowned, "Well find something. Anyway," she shoved him out the door, "Shika-chan will be home soon any minute and I don't want him to see me giving you a makeover, lest he start questioning your masculinity. On second thought…"

"Ino."

"Oh, right," she smiled, "Every morning I want you to use three jars of hair gel and get that chicken butt-like hair of yours down, understand?"

"Hn."

"Any questions?"

"…When's my next session?"

"Hm," Ino tapped her chin, "Are you open tomorrow after training?"

"Yes."

"Then meet back here, okay?"

"Aa."

"Alright, now off you go!" Ino grinned as she shoved him out of her apartment. She watched as he stumbled down the hall a bit but soon regained his composure. A few passerbys took note of his new hair and a few women even swooned, claiming he was hotter now that before. Sasuke flinched when a few screamed and threw themselves at his feet, asking if he would go on a date with them. If anything they were more persistent now than last time.

"Sasuke-kun, I love what you've done with your hair!"

"AAH! SASUKE-KUN, YOU'RE SO HOT!"

"Please go on a date with me!"

"I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!"

'_Crap_,' Sasuke cursed and jumped out a nearby window. He then raced towards his mansion, but not before a few other fan girls caught sight of him. They squealed and called up all their friends, telling them of his new hair. Soon, a huge sea of fan girls had formed and started chasing him.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Sasuke prayed silently. Well, his new hair was definitely a hit with his fans… let's just hope it's a hit with Sakura as well.

* * *

"Okay!" Tenten gasped, "I give up! Keep your hair." She snarled and crossed her arms. Neji poked his head up from behind the sofa just to make sure what she said was true. He rose slowly, still clutching his dark brown hair.

"At least let me give you a new hairstyle," she said.

"Without scissors?" Neji quirked a brow at her.

"Without scissors."

"Hn."

"Now take a seat in front of my mirror," she instructed. He did as she told. Once Neji made sure her scissors were safely away from his hair, he relaxed and let her do as she wished.

Tenten thought for a moment and stared at the white eyed Hyuuga. He always wore that indecent ponytail, where only the bottom of his hair was tied together. Maybe he should try moving it up? Tenten undid the leather cord that kept his ponytail together and retied it loosely at the nape of his neck. Now his hair was in an actual ponytail- not a high one, but a low, casual one.

Deciding that it was good enough for one day, Tenten sent him home.

"When do you want the next session?" she asked before he left.

"…After training tomorrow?"

"Sure," she smirked and closed the door.

Neji sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was going through so much trouble just for one girl. But it was worth it. About a year ago, he had begun to notice the woman she had become. No longer was she an obsessive fan girl of Sasuke's, but rather a woman dedicated to healing and helping others. She was cheerful and kind, but firm when needed. Sakura had also developed physically as well, taking after her mentor- especially in the bosom region. Neji blushed slightly when he thought about it. As soon as he left Tenten's apartment complex, a nearby girl screamed.

"OH MY GOD! NEJI-KUN, YOU'RE HOTTER THAN EVER!"

"I love your hair!"

"Let me touch it!"

"Go away, he's mine!"

Neji sweat dropped and slipped away, leaping towards the Hyuuga mansion before any more could swarm around him. His fan girls definitely loved the new hairstyle… Neji just prayed that it Sakura would appreciate it too.

* * *

AAHH. EW. SUCH A HORRIBLE FIRST CHAPTER! It came out worse than I expected but oh well. I'm going to rewrite it, but it's probably going to come out worse. (Sweat drop.) Eeh… Well, constructive criticism is appreciated. And reviews. 


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